I Will Be Me (Greater Reason)

I believe I'm here for a greater reason
To be able to give to others
It may not be in a form of a nobel prize for peace
Or a cure for AIDS
I do believe I am able to do it
Serving food that give others joy
Seeing the happy faces when tasting the food
It is not about the revelation of the deed
But to do the deed with passion and determination
I may not be a PHd
With stars and honors
I may just be a chef or a decorator
But at least I'm happy and satisfied
That way I can give myself 100%
Because I have a self to give
I'm not a empty case anymore
But a person with soul and will
Also passion and dreams
I'm not just a reflection of others
But a true spirit of myself
Years ahead may not be a comfort journey
But I know I will have my reward
A happy and satisfied person
With dreams and passion
A compassionate and loving person
With all myself to give
At the end of the journey
I will be me
And me only

Weird Dream

How weird is it if you dreamt having an elephant as your pet? Not those jumbo-mega-gray creatures ... the tiny version of it. And it bites. Literally ... it bites my index finger. It's good thing it's the mini version. Imagine if it's the real size elephant ... next thing I know I only have four fingers. Anyhoo ... in my dream, the tiny elephant grew so fast just by feeding it with lettuce. Weird huh? I remember the dream vividly because it seems so real ... the house and everything.

...

Weird.

...

Totally.

...

PS. Congrates to Jarno Trulli for securing the driver seat at Toyota F1 Racing Team. May all the best with you and may the words of the tech director are truthfully true (regarding equal partner and all). And may BAR Honda will grab the no. 2 Constructor (sp?) title. Hurrah.

Bad Anatomy Jokes

Do you know that some researcher says that those 'dumb blonde' jokes could really reduce blonde person intellegentia level. I reckon this is true. No...wait, I know it's true. Somehow labeled dumb and being joked about it doesn't help you to be smarter. This works the same way with the 'fat' jokes. It doesn't help any overweight-plus-sized people to loose weight. It is...demeaning. Trust me, I know how it feels. It doesn't help me at all.My father's side of the big family would call the 'fat' jokes ... encouragements. I call it ... insults. I know I'm overweight aka plus size. But I don't need some people joke about it. It's bad enough that I'm so self-conscious about my figure. I don't need some people to bring the topic up. Maybe they would somehow reason that I should just laugh about it.

That one who laugh at one self is at peace with one self. True. But laughing at someone else is bad. It's demeaning. It's discouraging. It's cruel and unhuman.I've endured the fat jokes as long as I can remember being overweight. But sadly enough, the people I remembered making these jokes are my own family. How sad is that. Sure, some of my junior high classmate did some fat jokes on me. But they never really ... over-joke it. I remember one classmate calls me 'Molen' which is a sort of pastry that is puffy. Well, I don't mind being puffy or chubby. As long as I'm not the one who sink ship. Yep, that's one of the fat jokes my family did. 'She's so heavy that the ship would sink' they said on one family gathering. 'Her groom would be able to lift her up on their wedding day' they said one night. Who said anything about lifting me up on my wedding day. This is another reason why I should just elope when I get married. It'd save me the fuss and muss dealing with my father's side of the family. Blah.

Sadly, I couldn't do a damn thing about except writing it down on my blog. Even this is bordering on danger on being caught. If one of them read this and it goes through to dad ... well, let's just say it ain't gonna be pretty ya know. But I do have the right to shout out my thoughts and feeling. And to hell with bad jokes. Any jokes that involve parts of somebody's body aka the bad anatomy jokes are to be condemned. They are cruel and inhuman. Down with bad anatomy jokes

...

The down side on being caught is they probably gonna try to blame it ...wait, they're gonna blame it on my mom. Some stuffs about not raising me properly. Yeah right. Not raising me properly my ass! She raise me proper enough, thank you. *censored*

...

Damn!

The Urban Supremacy

Ooooh, I am soooo sleeply right now. Turn out that one solo Coffee Frappuccino and a small sip of Caffe Verona do not have an affect on my 'sleep' nerves. If it weren't for the tea, I would be curling up on the bed right now. Need sleep. Badly.

[Warning: The next review is written by a woman whose energy has depleted until the lowest number of 25% - Damn, I need sleep]

I went to see The Bourne Supremacy today. It was great. I've seen the preview on HBO Advance Screening about a couple week ago. Instead feeling bored, I actually enjoyed the high speed chase which was the preview (Does Russian police really uses Mercedes Benz for high speed chase?). It was great...very dramatic. I even like what Matt Damon did with the character. And I'm not even his fans. But he play Jason Bourne nicely (although reminds a
bit about his role in The Talented Mr. Ripley). The plot also good (I just rated it B+ on Yahoo! Movies). I came to see the movie with no expectation because I'm not a fans on Matt Damon. In fact, at first, I wanted to go because of Karl Urban (and only Karl Urban). So sitting there in the dark with nothing in my hands, I enjoyed the movie. It was ... memorable. I watched it with caution, sitting on the edge ... hoping that this won't turn out to be a sour one. And it's not! You know how some Hollywood movie maker looooves happy ending. So I was so worried that they ... (spoiler alert) resurect Marie in the end. But never happened, so I'm totally pleased with the ending.

Aaaand now ... to the first reason why I watch the movie. Tadaaaaa! Karl Urban. He is ... so ...
H-O-T!!! Make that triple! Totally gorgeous. I know that he's the bad guy. But I can't help it. He's the most gorgeous bad guy I've ever seen! When I was watching him, the one thing that kept popping is that he's HOT! Yes, I know I've repeated that twice. But I can't help it. I'm totally smitten. Wow! I mean WOW! I know he's amazing as Eomer. And I know that he's deadly as Lord Vaako. But this role ... is something else. So glad he took it. At first, I was affraid that he would be just some enemy Bourne had to killed. But he stole the scene (at least for me). Wow! And wow!

Wait, the old agent from the Treadstone. The only one who survived beside Bourne ... isn't he the Count Dracula on Van Helsing? Wait, gotta check.

[checking IMDb]

Oooops, nope. My bad. I think I'm mistaken him with Marton Csokas aka Celeborn in Lord of the Rings trilogy. I knew he looks familiar.

Dear Sister

It's officially 24 hours (or so) since you left. I'm watching Channel's V Double Shot Rock, which I know you really love. Too bad you're not here to shout the name of the bands (Incubus is on the screen now, before that was Train's 'Drop of Jupiter'). Then you would wish and hope so hard that Channel V would play Lostprophets (spelling?), so you could gaze at Lee Gaze aka The Blond Guitarist (your version) aka Pretty Boy Guitarist (my version).

Home is doing fine, dear sister. It's bland without you around. I spend my day on the internet. Something I haven't done for a while, because I usually drags you around somewhere (dingdong-ing, shopping, etc). But since you're out on the wild (not literally 'wild' but well...you know), I have no one to drag around. Oh btw, our dear nephew stopped by about an hour after you left. He hasn't shower yet (well, I just woke up so we're even) and wearing his red sandals, screaming 'imbang an' as he entered the house. Turned out that he drags Ni Epon to have a walk to our house. I'm so convinced that when he knows to open the gate (and have the strength), he would just take off without even saying a word. And we will find him shouting at our gate, alone! Ahh, it'll take some time but I'll be looking forward for that mischieve to happen.

Anyway, your laptop just arrived with special message not to open it until you are here. Very specific. So I'll let you check it out yourself when you're home.

Since I have nothing to do, I just surf the net. Finally decided that my Yahoo inbox should be released from its' burden carrying over 1000 mails. But before that, the MSN inbox also should be re-activated.
The Yahoo mails was a tough work, especially because I encounter the same topic all over (besides some Oprah's Book Club, some ads, some junks, and some diet tips). But it's nice to catch up about Viggo at the end. There is so much I missed (some great pictures mostly). It also reminds me how Viggo was...is the ideal man. And how uncomplicated it is to admire him (unlike with a man I see wearing helmet and driving fast car most of the time and so undecisive about his future). I remember how 'easy' to like and admire Viggo, because what's not to like about him. He's multi talented man with great personality and views. But...after some time, I got tired and decided to log off.

One good thing that you're not home is I get to explore an old hobby. And mom's WinMX trully helps. Yup, I decided to find old 'memories' that were lost when our computer's hard disc broke. I found some old tracks that we loved (and some new tracks that we love). Although all is not recovered (the live version of NpC's 'Improvvisando'), but I enjoyed the whole searching and downloading. One bad side of it all, it's that I can share the joy with you when I found the english version of Inuyasha's soundtracks. I definetely needs your help to get the lyrics.

Still watching Double Shot Rock. Fortunately, there's no Lostprophets video (yet). Oh yeah...I enjoyed the benefit of having MTV Asia back. MTV Screen showed yesterday at usual time (btw, After Skool Rock move to Tuesday). Guess what, I found another movie-to-watch, The Stepford Wives. Really entertaining. We should put it down on our list (besides The Bourne Supremacy).

Bad news for Button

Whoops...
Jenson might loose his super license - license he needs to drive in F1 - if he continue to pursue the Williams' dream. So did the CRB announce.

So Jenson, why?

Why does appearance always fool me?

Politics on the fast lane

As Jenson Button make...

Wha? Oh...you think I was going to talk about politics? The 'real' politics (how ironic seeing not much is real in politics)? Nah, I was going to talk about the politics on the fast lane...the Formula One lane that is. So as I was saying...

As Jenson Button makes the headlines all this week, thanks to his presumed illegal switch to English based Williams, I stop and wonder 'does F1 has politics too?'. One editorial at Planet F1.com (read Did Jenson remember the Webber factor?) gave me a few hint about the thought. And yes...there is politics. It's been at my face the whole time, only I was to 'fresh' to realize. And yes...there is.

One example, which I have been dreading for long, is the fact that two driver of a team cannot be an equal partner. One must be the #1, while the other must be #2. Although the most debated example of this subject is those of Ferrari, I would not go there. Instead, I would take the example those of Renault. The news of Jarno Trulli leaving Renault was not as publicised as Jenson Button leaving BAR, but the reason is a good example of this subject. Why did Jarno Trulli decide to leave? Despite holding the number 7 and winning the Monaco Grand Prix, he is second to Fernando Alonso. This fact is not loudly acknowledge, but it is silently.

The editorial I mentioned above also has some saying about the subject of "#1 and #2". Before Jenson Button make his switch, Mark Webber already become the proud driver of Williams. Mark Webber, as pointed by the main man of Williams, will be the #1 driver (he has class bla bla bla). If Jenson does move to Williams, he would be #2. I read in one of the article, somebody at Williams said that Mark Webber need a partner to 'beat', someone who 'will not pose a threat' (that somebody also said something like 'someone like Jarno Trulli'...up yours, man!). Like the the editorial's writer, I would ask the same question 'why on earth does Jenson Button want to play second fiddle for Williams?'. Being #2 driver isn't that bad if you have Micheal Schumacher as partner (read How To Love Michael Schumacher). But if somebody important already said those things...why would you be the second driver? And drop all the glory of #1 driver at the other end of the tug o'war (read Jenson - The Tug Of Love Driver). This is complicated.

It is even more complicated than football. *Phew* I only had two paragraph and I'm beat already. So why did I turn on Formula One, you may ask? Well, despite it has an ugly part of political havoc and mayhem, it's still the most exciting one-seated motor racing ever.

(But I'll be back to football as soon as the Italian Serie A starts their first kick-offs. Politics schmolitics.)

Perchè, Edgar Davids?

Why, Edgar Davids?

Will Inter give you what you are looking for?

Like my sister said, two star instead of one. (Inter has one star; one star = 10 scudetto. Juventus is the only team in Serie A that has two star for 26 scudetto.)

So why?

Are you still looking for title? Glory? Champions Cup? The Scudetto? If it is what you are looking for, wouldn't the logical choice be A.C. Milan? Proud wearer of the scudetto.

So why, Edgar Davids?

Chinese Mythical Being

You are Xuan Wu!
Mythological background: Because the turtle has a
thick, solid shell that serves as protection -
this animal is associated with stability. You
enjoy intellectual pursuits. Also, in Feng Shui (the Chinese myths behind
choosing a house), the black turtle's solidity
is used to protect from cold northern winds.

Which Chinese Mythological Being Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Fun Day

Hurrah!!!
After holding on for 2 days, I've finally had the chance to play ding dong as much as I want to. Did 6 coins for the Pop'NMusic game. We rules!!! (me and sis) Then tried on something new. Just like the ol' bang-the-moles type of game. Only with several choices of item to bang on. I rules! Got 12 tickets (sis only got 4). Anyway...it's a fun day.

Oh...the Pizza Hut was divine as always.

Oh...and the quiz. I don't understand why I'm Jacques Villenueve. I thought I'm more a Trulli-kind-of-gal. Oh whatever...


Take the F1 drivers quiz on supersonicsquirrel.net

Note: Ding dong is slank for video game. It came from the sound video games used to make...'ding dong'. Get it?

The Second Summer of the Sisterhood

I was just reading this book this morning. It was written by Ann Brashares. I read the Indonesian version of course. They brand it TeenLit, meaning Teen Literature. The four main characters: Lena, Tibby, Carmen, and Bridget; are teens. The book told their second summer after they found the sisterhood pants (read the book for more explaination). Even though they are teens, their stories somehow resonate to most people's stories. Me, a 23 year old woman, even thinks it's a good book.

But I'm not talking about the book here. Well, it started when I was reading it. I was reading the story of Bridget, who visit her mother's hometown to find and get to know her grandmother. And it dawns to me, as I was helping my dad close the gate and the garage door, that I don't really know much about my dad. I was looking at his pair of badminton/tenish shoes, thinking why he bought them. Does he play tennis? If yes, when? And with who? Despite the reason why he bought the shoes are clear (to play tennis), but the latter questions haunted me. When and with who? Then I realize I don't much about him. There's a lot of his history that I don't know. I usually found out about it when it already happened for a while (could be for years). Like when he went to India. I didn't know about it untill he told my sister, then my sister told me. I also didn't know that he had pilgrimage (sp?) until my dad told my mom, then my mom told me. I'm almost totally clueless about him. I also didn't know he actually played football (soccer) and was a star. But an injury forced him to retire. I know bit of pieces of his life...told years after it happen. I understand if they happened before I was born. But the things happened after I was born...it shouldn't take years.

I sort of the made a promise to get to know my dad a little better. Just now...the promise fade away. Just because he told me to change the channel (I was watching Powerpuff Girls), because he thinks that 'it has no benefit'. A sense of rebelness take over. What about happiness? What about joy? What about enjoying myself? I linger a little on the channel (in case you didn't guess, it's Cartoon Network), but a stroke of fear overtake me. And I flip around the remote, changing channel. Then I realize...I still fear my dad's wrath of anger. No, no...he wasn't abusive. But I did have several bad incident involving his anger, which turn out to have more impact that I thought. I'm still affraid to invoke his anger. And I still fear that it would be a heavy one.

My super-quick analytic ability took over. I over-analize everything...it's a habit, a not-so-benefitting one. I analize why I still like cartoons (like any other people), why I still fear my dad, why I couldn't stand up to him, etc. I also quietly say inside my mind that even though he tries to have new visions, thinking outside the box, he still puts me in a box. Since I'm his daughter, I should follow his guidelines. Being 23 years old means I'm an adult. An adult is not suppose to like cartoon. Because it doesn't give you any benefit. Then I see through all his effort all this time...he was trying to make me an adult as early as he can. My mom told me about this several times : 'He was just trying to make u independent, just in case. Because you are the oldest daughter'. Unfortunately...his plan and efforts had backfire. I'm maybe 23 years old...but there's a child screaming inside of me. Knocking my conscious with all her might. The age may be right...but my emotional age is not. I don't feel like an adult...I don't want to be one. I don't want to get older. And by that, all the efforts backfire. Instead making me an independent, responsible adult...I'm almost the opposite.

...It just backfire...

...Am I depressed?...

...Yes, totally...

At the moment...

I'm thinking how one of my unwritten-but-exciting stories ends, I realize that giving up is really hard to do. If I was to surrender to the lost of the fight, start the journey home to the man-who-will-accept-me-as-I-am with my tail between my legs...It would be somehow a very tragic defeat indeed. I am such a fighter inside, but somehow that spirit doesn't translate outside.

...

Or maybe it's just because this anxiety that I have after a very surprising and shocking accident at Silverstone, which unfortunately was involving Trulli. Luckily, he is unhurt and ready for the next race. Damn it...I could've had a heart attack.

The year of the underdogs (Euro 2004 review)

Aaaaaargh!!! I cannot believe it. Czech Rep lost to Greece for a single silver goal. Okay, the tournament has officially became suck. Now what excuse do I need to watch the final? Portugal? Greece? I don't even know them. Oh gosh, this year's tournament been so kind to the underdogs.

The upperdogs mostly been eliminated, except for Portugal (they're the host, so they have the benefit of "host syndrome"). Italy and Germany didn't even make it out of the group phase. Italy was stopped by Duo Nordic, Sweden and Denmark. Italy's performance was...well, a little poor. They didn't live up to their reputation as the 'football nation'...the nation with the best football league. Italy did two in-a-row draw and a win, but to a bitter end. They were...stumped by the Duo Nordic draw performance. Germany also didn't live up to their reputation. But I can't blame them...they were at the hellish group with Czech Rep and Netherlands. The competition were stiff, and one of them got to go home early.

Moving on to the quarter finals, England was beaten by Portugal after a dramatic penalty shootout. England media and fans blamed the loss to the referee, the likely scapegoat, for giving the Portugal a penalty when the Brits are winning. Making the match end in a 2-2 draw, forcing the Brits to go into extra time. I also heard that some sportcaster has became so irritated that he crosses the journalism ethic (source: Forza Juventus mailing list). What a sore loser. Anyway, the next upperdogs that fell down the drain are France, who lost to Greece for a single goal. The coach claimed that exhaustion is the reason. Well, at least they don't point their finger to the referee (like some team). That would be the sooooo cliche.

Overall...it's been disappointing! I have lost interest since the first Italy's match. The poor performance and the spitting incident has left me cold...and yearning for my sleeping time. But since Euro only happens once in 4 years (thank god it's another four years from now), I kept on watching. And like I've predicted, it didn't fail to disappoint me. The upperdogs fell flat on their faces and the underdogs rules. But the salute goes to Greece, who has advance so far without any some sort of tricks (Well done, greeks!). The big award of unsportsmanship goes to the Duo Nordic, Denmark and Sweden. And the sore loser award goes to the Brits (Yes, it sucks to lose doesn't it?).

The final is approaching the end is near. But I already putting my nightcap on and my slippers off. I'm (so) ready to say "farewell Euro 2004, welcome World Cup 2006".

Disclaimer: Offended? Well, bugger off. I don't take nasty harassments. Decent comments are welcome though.

What??

Oalaaaaaaaaaah...bagaimana ini tooooooh? Kok nambah links jadi error gini? Kok nyingsul sih header-nya? Apa emang gak boleh ditaro di bawah profile-ku toh? Yah, kok ndak bilang2 siiiiiiiih? Oladalah, jadoknya (jawa medok) keluar. Ya weis, ntar diganti tempatnya.

*back to normal*

Okay, this day almost down to suck grade. No Oprah magz yet. The Age of Mythology CD didn't work (musti beli baru...wualaaaaaaah). The header for my added link is...crooked.

*relapse*

Wadalaaaah, gak ada yg bener.

*back to normal*

Okay...need sleep. Need sleep. Better go to sleep now. Sleep. Sleep.

Arrivederci Azzurri

This is the end for the azzurri. Just as some of their fans predicted, they didn't make it to the final 8. They gained a victory against Bulgaria for 2-1. But the Swedes and the Danish drew on 2-2, making the victory nothing but a bittersweet taste of the Euro. And their ticket home.

Farewell, Azzurri. Hope this misfortune would be a way to better Azzurri next time. We'll see you in Germany 2006.

*solemnly puts a mourning outfit*

Italy's Misfortune(s)

Fresh from watching the match of Italy vs Sweden which resulted in a (another) draw. Only this time it's 1-1. The italians led first when Cassano headed a pass from Panucci. But came the second half, the italians were tired and under a lot of pressure. Just 5 minutes before the 90 minutes time is up, the swedes even the score. It was 1-1 by Ibrahimovic. The score stayed unchange until the time is up and quoting the commentator 'Italy's hope is hang by a thread'.

Honestly, I do feel disappointed (naturally). After having a glimpse of glory, I was denied by the mishap in front of the net. I'm not blaming anyone. It has been a rough european campaign for Italy. First, their opening match against the Danish resulted in a goalless draw. Then misfortune came with the form of Totti's 3 matches ban (which personally, it's not such a great loss). Now, the whole campaign hangs by a thread after another draw. But also frankly, I don't think that Italy would make it to the finals. They still have a chance by beating Bulgary next week. But only if the swedes also defeat the danish. If the danish wins, the italians have to pack their bags and go home sooner than they expected. The whole thing does remind me of what happen to France at the World Cup 2002. Could it happen again, this time round to Italy? We'll just have to wait and see.

I do feel disappointed more than I wanted to, till the point of accepting the simplest consolation like having Trulli finally finishes (at what cost) at the USA Grand Prix, after having (another) misfortune at the Canada GP last week. Golly, even seeing him is a consolation (naturally).

Well, off to bed now.

What a day!!!

Aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrgggh!!! This has been a helluva day! Don't mind the spelling now, I'm sleepy right now. It's 15 past midnight and I only had 1 hour of napping.

Did some shopping this morning. Got myself a...wait, two new pillows and two new pillowcases. Loves the color. It's baby blue with faded parquet texture. Just my thing. Didn't buy any holster yet. Maybe next mind, oops, next month. But planning the color combination right now. Damn, so sleepy right now.

Let's just get to the highlight of the day shall we? I need my beauty sleep. Anyway, I was rushing over to the cinema to see the new Harry Potter movie. Stood on me line, bothering me own business, when three ungrateful, spoiled, impolite, barbaric people just stand on the wrong side of the line. They were trying to swipe the line! Bloody barbarians they are. Nasty too. Got all steam up and decided to do all or nothing (with my dear cousin encouragement of course. Love you lass). Tap one on her shoulder, let her know there was only one line. Yes, ONE line u eedjit. One minute later, she was gone leaving her somewhat younger companion still on the WRONG side of the lane. Guess what? She came back dragging an awful looking thing I presummed her brother. And he, instead correcting her manner, stood on her previous post. I assumed they are siblings, you can see clearly from their manners and behaviour. Implecably rotten. Nasty rotten. Then my dear cousin (who was standing behind me) said that we should leave it to the boys (there's a man in front of me). She suggested that we should see if he (the man standing in front of me on the RIGHT lane) would up to the challenge. And bloody well, he wasn't! Then it all up to the ladies then. Almost on the edge of the lane, we tap him (the ungrateful lot) on the back and ask him to get in line. Yes, the RIGHT lane you eedjit. And like any other ungrateful lots, he refused and claimed that he got there before we do. How nice...rotten and a lying smug. They are definetely siblings. And apparantly badly need some bottlebottom glasses because he didn't see me there standing on the lane, before he did. Me! Me! The big girl with white shirt. Hello? Oh wait...he didn't have his glasses on. And his manner too. Damn those three ungrateful, rotten lots.

Anyway, there's me story on today's event. I'll be back tomorrow for the review on Harry Potter (who is turning out to be fine young lad. Watch out Orlando). Without the rage of course (thos damn ungrateful, rotten, impolite, barbaric eedjits).

Ps. If anyone feel offended, well...since I'm not in a very good mood...bugger off! Don't mind me post then.

There's an angel watching over me

Congrats! Your a Pure Angel! Angels, as far as most
of them go, are all compatabile creatures, but
Pure ones simply are symbols of God. Pure
Angels always appear when a child is born, when
a rainbow is seen, or when someone shares their
first kiss. They never grow old, an can appear
in the shape of a naked woman with white, bold
wings. Pure angels are the carriers of god, and
show their love to everyone in the world.


What Kind of ANGEL are you? (For Girls only) This Quiz has amazingly Beautiful Pictures!
brought to you by Quizilla

Blast from the past

So what do you with your past if it comes knocking on the door? Do you confront it? Do you embrace it? Do you...throw stones at it? Do you run from it? Do you hide from it? Me, I still have trouble deciding what to do. Sometimes I want to run and hide. Sometimes I just want to throw stones or something at it. But never was I confront it or even embrace it. I was too scare, too frightened, to be able to look it on the eye.

Well, one of my past just blast in yesterday (hence the title). It came so sudden, unexpected. I was browsing friendster just the other day. Clicking around on my kindegarten-elementary-junior-school page, when I saw someone I know from school time. He was this popular guy, not my crush but I had some encounter with him. I click his pix to get to his profile page. And there it was...on his list of friends, my old flame. The guy I proclaimed my first love, smiling in his pix. 'Damn' was my first reaction, 'I didn't expect this', was my second. Then while keep cursing (silently of course, didn't want to upset anyone), I click his smilling pic. The curiosity got the better of me.

So...I read his profile and found out that he's married and his job. Then I read the testimonials and found out his wife's name. Also he's a daddy-to-be. And I was...like...well, blasted. 'Damn' I said again. 'He has a good life' I said silently. Then I was...upset, unbalanced, or whatever. I didn't like that, for sure. I was ticked that he's having a good life when a couple of years ago he broke my heart. Wait, did he? Yeah, he did. He broke it with the worst possible scenario a broken heart could have.

I've been broken hearted before him. It was harsh, hard, and cruel. The guy totally reject me in the cruelest way. I was angry, gutted, pissed, and vowed for revenge. But it was the easy way out of love. It's like having your wound ripped even wider. But instead making it worse, it healed faster. I have no grunge or what-so-ever with that guy. But this guy...he didn't reject me, dissed me, or did something harsh. He was nice, friendly, kind, etc. At that time, I was so damn in love, so...so...in 7th heaven, so...so...on cloud nine, I thought there's something behind his niceness. I mistaken the signal...I thought I had hope, but he was just being nice.

It was the worst. It feels like you're flying with wings, frolicking between the clouds...then *poof* the wings are gone and you're falling down. But the fall feels like taking forever. And even when you hit the ground, you're still going even lower. The detox took almost 5 years. And it was costly...for me.

To be continued...

Van Helsing

Just saw Van Helsing last Sunday. It was...well, how do I put it? Felt like watching another sequel of The Mummy. Only this time it's Hugh Jackman, instead of Brendan Fraser. Kate Beckinsale instead of Rachel Weisz. And it's Count Draculla instead of Imhotep. The action was good. One thing about this Stephen Sommers' movie...like it's predecessor it was damn good thriller. Every scary scene, I could feel the intensity. And the hair on the back of my neck started to rise. I remember I was holding the collar part of my t-shirt, ready to pull it up and hide.

But I also remember how buff Hugh Jackman is. Especially when he ripped his shirt, ready to turn into werewolf to kill Count Draculla. Wooooohooo! A feast for a woman's eyes. There are a lot of scenes showing Hugh Jackman's buff body. It's one of it's strong point I must say. But there aren't much...well, exposure other than that. The vampire brides wear these sexy outfit, but not too sexy. Kate Beckinsale wears this corset kind of outfit. The only exposure done are by the men of the story.

One notable performance is by Lord of the Ring's Faramir, David Wenham. It's a total turnaround from his role in the famous trilogy. David Wenham plays the role of Carl, the friar that follows Van Helsing to Transylvania. Carl provided the comic relief in most of the scene. He's clumsy, slow-witted, scared easily. But what fascinate me is that it's different role from Faramir. But David Wenham play it excellently. He did great. He made me laugh uncontrolably...a lot. Well, that happened maybe becoz I was comparing him the Faramir through out the movie. My fave scene is the one when Carl and Van Helsing are in Rome, under the cathedral. Carl is showing Van Helsing around, when he shows him a big batch of glyserine. He takes a drop on his finger, and throws it toward a bunch of barrels. The barrels explodes, surprising people. Carl appologizes, and when he turns around facing the camera he's wearing this thing (looks like a goggle or glasses, just like the one Johnny Depp wears in Sleepy Hollow) and it makes his eyes looks bigger. And that just hit me like...a lightning of tickles, and I laugh so hard! So hard, I have to hold myself back real hard not to laugh outloud (nobody's laughing...or at least what I remembered). Good job, David Wenham!

I didn't put this post on my other blog (Lemontee's Favorite Things). Despite I love David Wenham's performance in it, it's not that good overall. Especially the vampire part, it's a bit lame. Seriously. Totally lame. Even Queen of the Damned looks better than that.

It's A Sad Day

It's a sad day. I just heard that one of my sister's friend just died. She had a motorbike accident just yesterday. She was thrown off the bike, hit the road, then dragged a few more feet. She broke her neck and fractured her skull. When she was brought to the hospital, the doctors said that it was only a matter of hours. She would not make it. It is a sad tradegy.

This happened when the girl was just finishing her high school. Just days away from her graduation and weeks away from enroling college. A youth soul cut short. It happened so suddenly. No one ever expected it. But it did happen. And it makes me think.

This probably would not have happen if:
Her boyfriend ride the bike carefully, not speeding, and not trying to cut the traffic from the opposite side because he wanted to go faster. This happens a lot lately. Motorbike riders sometimes do not care about the rule, therefor do not care about their own safety and the safety of the people they are riding with. They cut traffic. They go zig-zagging inside the crowded traffic to find a very tight space, so they could reach their destination faster. Bottom line, they're not careful just for the sake of getting there faster.

She wears the proper gear for motorbike, which is a motorbike helmet. This also breaking the rules. Not that I want bad-mouthing a deceased person or anything. I just thought to point out that this also happens a lot lately. People, the rider and the ridee, wears unproper helmets. I've seen it so many times.

It makes me think a lot. I've been quite upset about the condition of the motorbike lately. They're getting rude and unsafe more and more each day. And when this happens, it just prove it. This is the case, the example.

To all the motorbike riders and ridee out there, please be careful. An extra concern note to the riders. You have the advantage of being the riders, please be careful. The ridee is not going to be as lucky as you are if something happens. So remember when you drive carelessly, you are endangering another person. That you have someone else's life in your hands. I'm sure you don't want to life forever regreting your careless driving.

PLEASE BE SAFE!

Artistic Viggo

I tried this quiz on quizzila.com, that my fellow Viggo list refered. And yes, I am his fans (in case you didn't read between the lines).


Artistic Viggo


What kind of Viggo Mortensen are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

American Idol? For real?

Okay, this is disappointing. First, it was Jennifer. Then George Huff. And now? LaToya. Those are three of four the best singers in the competition. Hellooooow? What's happening? What's next? Fantasia? If she ever get voted-off, my American Idol-watching-routine is gone baby! No more American Idol in this house. I can't believe that two of the 'alright' singers stay on the competition. Because of what? Are they good singers? Not as good as those three (Jen, George, LaToya)! Are they good looking? Well, surely people think so seeing the way they stay. For your information...it's a singing competition, not a popularity contest. This is turning to be the ugliest season ever. Even Ryan Seacrest doesn't worth it if Fantasia got booted.

When Jennifer was voted off, I stayed on. When George Huff was voted off, I shruged off the possibility of stop watching. I will stay watching until it turns to the ugliest possibility ever...that two 'alright' singer is going to fight for the top position and it's runner up. If that happens, that's it. Might as well rename the show into something like American something.

Wait, I have take care of my zit first. Damn these hormons.

Okay, back. Got a cotton with alcohol on it. Hurt a little, but the price to be beautiful. Hwahahahaha. I can't believe I've said that.

All of this mess wouldn't have happen if...I could vote. Being geographical impossible to vote get to my nerve. I'll pay good amount of money if only I can vote. *sigh* Me feel bad. Me feel a piece of cookies coming right into my mouth this any minute. Wait...okay, I still can eat something. Cut-off time is 8 pm. I'm off...to get my cookie.