Going Fishing

I have a confession to make. *sigh* Here goes ...

For the past 3 months, I have been a member of an internet dating service. Yes, I am trying on internet dating.

*phew* There you go. Now on the context of this post.

I don't know if you are lucky enough to be doing internet dating. But for those who aren't, well, let me tell you how it goes. So all you need to do it provide your basic information and write short stories on your lonely, but oh so fulfilling life. Make sure you have a picture of yourself. And make sure it shows your best side. Other members would likely to based their judgment by this photo alone. Then you choose some categories. These will be used by the service to match you to several potential future significant others (please let me know if I'm being redundant here ...). Click OK or Submit several times and voila! You have your own internet dating profile.

Then here comes the tricky part. You have to sort through the abundance of matches provided by the website. My particular service let the members go through several steps, until they could send each other secure messages through the website. So to make the short story short, I have gone through some up and down. I've been to the open stage of the matchmaking with several men. But nobody sticks around long enough for me to consider open dating. Oh, the woe of internet dating!!!

I guess this internet dating thing is a lot like non cyberspace dating most people are doing. It feels like going fishing. You throw all the baits you can throw, out there to the water, then sit and wait for the fish bite. Sometimes you got lucky, sometimes the fish snuff you even before step one is done. Oh my god, what I'd do for my dad (long story, that is for another post). Then when first few steps are successful, there is no guarantee that it would translate to a date. A real date. Have the world gone mad? Or to be specific, have I gone mad?

At first, it feels kinda exciting. Picking which match you will communicate with. Hmm, not this one *click*. This one sounds funny *click*. Oh, this one is not going to work *click*. After several attempts to make connection, I am ready to crash and burns. Maybe even gives this internet dating stuff up. *sigh*

There has to be another way to find a future significant other ...

Get your foot out of your mouth!

Yup, your mouth can be your worst enemy. It sometimes has its own mind and you have no control of it. It would blurted out the most embarrassing, humiliating fact, that until one second ago is unknown to the person sitting across you. For me, my mouth, or in this case, my blog was my own worst enemy.

A while back, I was bitching about my living situation. Very tacky, indeed, I know. But what do you expect from a woman who has PMDD (according to me, of course). And suddenly I realize, that this blogging thing isn't entirely private. Well, yeah, DOH! This is the internet after all. And nothing is private in the internet. It's like leaving breadcrumbs, volatile breadcrumbs at that, all over cyberspace. Yeah, I know. I kinda wish I could smack myself in the back of the head, but I can't reach that far.

So what prompt me to write a blog again? I don't know. Everything changed. Borrowing from Dr. Covey (7 Habits of Highly Effective People), it's a principle based paradigm shift. It's a coreshaker that changes your point of view. It was the loss of my mom.

So now, everything changes, we all tried to heal ourself from the lost. And somehow I manage to patch things up again. Which is great. Late but great. But better late than never, huh Mom?

*sniff*

So yeah, get your foot out of your mouth!