Damn!

I finaly realized what my dad is trying to do!

He was so bitchy about my cousin who is staying with us for a few days. And he was soooo annoying about him being the oldest, he didn't stay at home (he has a few days off), he's running away from his responsibility, bla bla bla. I was just soooooo furious about it. I thought he's just trying to make someone misreable just because he feel misreable, he's soooo mean, etc.

Then it hit me. He was dumping his frustation on him. His youngest sister and her son are in town, because her son has a uni entrance test. And he wants them to stay here at our house. But because my cousin is here, he couldn't invite them. So he dump all his anger on him. He's always like that. Building up anger then try to justified his anger toward people, even when they are innocence, not guilty. Gosh! I can't believe it! Can you believe it?

I'm sooooo not liking him right now. I just want to shout "shut the f*** up!". But of course I can't do that. Cause that would cause a bigger problem. Then he would make sure that I would suffer. Then he would recite all my past mistakes. Then he would make me feel guilty about it. And if I don't appologize, then he would degrade me.

Believe me...I live with this man for more than 20 years. What do you think makes me goes downhill on depression lane? Him!!! And he won't believe that it's his fault! Feels like living with Hitler.