Self-sabotage Syndrome

Is it real? Yes, it is. It mostly can be seen in women. All ages. For us, ladies, the syndrome knows no boundaries. We all suffer from it, some times.

Case in point. This lovely woman I know is in the early stage of a relationship, with a good man. A good catch, your momma would say. But she's having all this doubt about it. Last night, on the kitchen, she poured her heart out. Basically, telling me why she wants to take things slow with this guy. Understandably, just like others, she's been hurt before. Bad. And I mean, bad. The kind of broken heart that would keel you over if you don't have a strong heart and will. The kind that make you wish you hurt more physically, just so you don't feel that aching mentally.

Anyway, I digress. So somehow in this conversation, she stated that this might be a mistake. Why? Well, this is where it gets interesting. If she were my shanks (pet name for my BFFs), I would tell it like it is. Like "Shank, you're shanking yourself here. Get a grip. He's a good man. Deal". (In reality, I don't talk like that) But she's not. So no "shanking" her. Okay, long story short, her reason is more spiritual than I would like to believe. I'm not the most religious person in the world, ladies. But really? Really? You've got to be "shanking" yourself here.

A good man is hard to find. Trust me, I've been looking for ages (decades even). So when one comes along, you accept. No, I'm not saying that you should throw a rejoicing dance or ritual. After all, man is only ... man. But accept that a good man wants to love you, you beautiful self. And on forward to your journey to get to know him. Don't, and I repeat, DO NOT sabotage yourself. It's kinda old. And remotely sick, I tell ya. We can't be always ruining ourselves. Do not drag your behind and sink it low.

So yes, I do think this lovely woman is self-sabotaging herself. But I can't tell her that, as she poured her heart out on the kitchen floor. So I stand there, and listen. I didn't tell her flat out what I think. I listen. I was the enabler that time. If only she was my shank ...